Let’s be honest, you just have sweet “teeth.”
You were the LEGEND who stole the damn cookies from the cookie jar.
AND IT WAS THE GREATEST HEIST IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.
It's hard for you to have a healthy relationship with someone because pie is your bae.
You're pretty damn jealous of all those little elves that get to make cookies in a tree all day.
Elves have it so fucking good.
You've tried EVERY new Oreo flavor.
With no regrets.