7 New Holidays That Are Better Than Thanksgiving

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Shake things up this year with a New and Improved family celebration!

Dan Meth / BuzzFeed Life

FOR THOSE UNWILLING TO EMBRACE THE WOBBLY BITS…

Consider — if you feel more sleek and glamorous in a slimming compression garment, imagine how your turkey will feel! Celebrate SPANXGIVING and give that bird the bod it's always dreamed of.

Dan Meth / BuzzFeed Life

FOR THOSE WHO JUST CAN'T…

Pull on your least clean sweatpants and dig those half-decomposed cold cuts out of the fridge, because ANGSTGIVING is all about despair!

Make sure not to invite any friends over, and instead set aside plenty of “me time” for a nice relaxing wallow in your unmade bed. The more crumbs that end up down your trousers, the better! Angstgiving is all about letting loose and facing the yawning pit of your own consciousness.


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